I had never in my life “rucked” or hiked before that first time in Boot Camp. Putting a huge load on your back and heading out into the wilderness was totally foreign to me. The boredom, the agony, the blisters!!!! Many a toe nails were lost, many a blisters festered, yet, it was part of my new life as a Soldier. I soon learned how to “deal with it” although I did not grow to love hiking until much later. But reflecting back now on all those miles on my feet with the burden of a large weight on my back has taught me so many life lessons I am not sure I would have otherwise learned. In this blog, I am going to try and gather those thoughts and life lessons.

#1: I CAN ENDURE: One of my favorite quotes is by Cheryl Strayed and it goes like this “I was amazed that what I needed to survive could be carried on my back. And, most surprising of all, that I could carry it. That I could bear the unbearable.” Some moments during a ruck are quite simply…excruciating. Whether it be blistered feet, bruised heels, screaming, shaky leg muscles, agonizing back, neck and shoulder pain, shuttering, short breath, sweat pouring out of every orifice, the maddening hunger and thirst, and the confusing brain fog, all are equally extremely daunting, and experiencing all of these all at once is unfathomable. Combine all that with crappy weather, ice cold wind, driving rains, or deadly water sucking heat, plus daunting terrain, miles and miles stretched before you of incline and declines, water crossings, and potential encounters with deadly wildlife, well, you have an activity that most people would never even think to go out of their way to do. But you ask any peak bagging hiker about all this and they will inevitably say, “yea all that sucks but…..”. I never complete a hike without the feeling that I just accomplished something really freaking amazing. The pride of knowing that I am strong enough, physically and mentally to endure anything thrown my way on a hike, is unexchangeable. Nothing else makes me feel like that. I can carry al that I need on my back and endure anything to get to my destination. Wow. No amount of pain, boredom, heat, cold, hunger, or thirst can stop me. It may deter me, it may slow me, it may reroute me, but it won’t stop me. I can always keep going, somehow. The people that I know who are avid long trail hikers are very good at “embracing the suck” not just on their hikes, but in their lives. They are dogged. They don’t complain. They put their heads down and keep going, even when anyone else would give up.

#2: MY MIND IS AN EXPANSE: Just FYI, if I ever hear anyone within earshot of me complain of boredom, I have an almost uncontrollable urge to slap the shit out of them. I want to scream, “What is wrong with you? Are you that dumb that nothing is going on inside that brain of yours to keep you occupied? Is it just crickets in there?” When you have hours and hours and hours in front of you, the knee jerk reaction is to frantically fill up the time with something, anything. By the way, I feel the same way about people who watch TV on airplanes, I want to scream “Where have all the thinkers gone?” On a hike, my mind is my playground. I admit, I had to be forced to learn this. On my first Bootcamp rucks and even runs, I was bored out of my skull. I could not figure out how some people felt perfectly content to just run and do nothing else. Not listen to music, not talk, not watch TV. But then I started to quiet myself (basically out of no other choice) and find that within my mind, I could take advantage of all that time. I could contemplate things deeply. I could review certain life lessons or fantasize about my future. I learned that being able to turn inward and think deeply, it actually made me forget the pain of the run or ruck. I would sometimes look up and be astounded at how much time had passed. I was hooked. Many times on my hikes I will listen to an audio book or a podcast, possibly some music. But most of the time I don’t. I just think.

#3: I AM CAPABLE. I think my generation was the last to benefit from this next benefit. You see, when I was young, and we went on a family road trip, or just anywhere we were not familiar, we used these things called maps. No, not google maps. We had a paper street map of the area and planned our route. Many times, the passenger would have the map open and navigate the driver. Yes, its like mapquest, but uber low tech. When I went to Boot Camp it was 1997. Only rich people had cell phones and computers and mapquest still didn’t exist. In bootcamp we learned how to read topographic maps, navigate by a compass, land features and the stars. I could set off into the woods and find points several kilometers away, in the dead of night, with just a red lens flashlight, a map and a compass. It was so empowering! On my hikes I still use paper maps and compass. I don’t use a GPS. I have never once gotten lost. I have gotten off trail and had some missed turns at times, but because of my map orientation skills, am easily able to get back on track. On one of my few day solo hikes I ran into a trail guide. We hiked along chatting together as we were headed in the same direction, then we came to an intersection. I immediately pulled out my map and compass. He looked at me astonished and exclaimed, “You use a map!?” He then told me about how many times thy have had to go out and rescue hikers who because of their sole reliance on a GPS. I agreed that this was creating a huge problem with hikers, they don’t learn the skills they need without technology, so when technology fails them, they are screwed.

#4: NECESSARY PREPERATION: In bootcamp, you were given a list of items that you must pack in your ruck for field exercises. Tent, tent poles, tent stakes, sleeping mat, sleeping bag, etc. You had to check each item off and make sure you brought it. Yes, it created an ungodly weight in your pack, and many a Soldiers try and leave a few items out in order to save them the weight. As I became a hiker in my 30s, I had some trial and error on what I really need to bring on a hike and what I can do without. But, there were certain items that I ALWAYS BROUGHT, even if I was certain I would not need them. It my “just in case” gear and I have used some of these items on several occasions because of the needs of not myself, but others. If I am hiking anything over a mile, I am bringing at a minimum my “just in case” gear. And I am 100% certain my just in case gear helped save at least one life on a hike. I won’t delve into the details of that incident now, but I will make my point. Life brings you wild cards. Expect them on a hike. I read backpacker magazine and they always feature a story of someone(s) who have gotten themselves in serious danger out on the trail and maybe lived to tell about it (some of these stories have a tragic end). Almost 100% of the time, the danger escalates because of the hiker’s failure to prepare. Either to bring the right gear, notify someone of their hike path and estimated time of completion, or all out very bad plans to do things that require much skill and experience attempted by a novice. I didn’t start with several day hikes by myself. I started with few hour hikes. Then one overnight that was not very far from civilization. Then one night out further. Then a few nights, etc. I always keep in mind the things that end up killing others and ensure I am prepared for them, the three main ones are poor navigation, dehydration and weather unpreparedness. I live my life aware of all these things. I cringe every time I see a hiker bring a teeny little water bottle with them, wearing a cotton pair of jeans and a tshirt, and just a cell phone on a day hike with them. I want to scream “Have you ever read Backpacker magazine!?” I am ALWAYS prepared. Even on a day hike I carry a full camelback of water, two water sterilization/filtration systems (in case one fails), a sweater, a beanie, a rain coat, two systems to create a fire (steel and flint and waterproof matches), a field knife, a basic first aid kit, a compass and map of the area, an emergency mirror and whistle, bear spray, my weapon, a solar cell phone charger, a dry bag, ample food for at least 4 days, tons of electolytes powders and salt pills, a headlamp and inflatable solar lantern, extra batteries, rope, duct tape, sunscreen, bug spray, baby wipes, trash bags, and a extra pair of socks. And for comfort, a field chair. I can tell you that 0% of day hikers ever bring half this stuff and that is where the potential for the next terrible story in Backpacker magazine begins. Sure, can something insaine happen never mind my preparation, sure! But I also will not stop doing something I love because of fear that one of those random freak things could happen. I mean seriously, today I heard about a hiker attacked by a goat. A goat. Seriously. Freak circumstance. You can’t prepare for that. You want to increase your chances of succeeding for the just in case? Prepare. And that is how I live my life.

#5: ADAPT AND OVERCOME: Here is my last lesson, and it’s a doosy. Sometimes shit happens. Your hiking partner becomes sick at the bottom of a valley and the only help is about 11 miles straight up a mountain. You hike along a path for hours, only to find it impassable because the spring rains swelled the creek to a massive class 4 rapid. You realize you are off trail and it’s been about an hour since that last navigation decision. It torrential rains for 9 hours straight and you spend the night pacing around your campsite to keep warm because your tent sprung a leak and all your shit is soaking wet. You wake up to hear falling trees as a huge insane windstorm blows through the wood in the middle of the night. Your hiking partner is out of water and you are almost out and you have no idea when the next water opportunity will be. You forgot the map in the car and you have hiked for 2 hours…and the sun is setting. Your path is completely impassable due to several downed trees and after struggling to climb over and under them for over an hour, you emerge defeated, scratched, bleeding and bruised to figure out you need to turn back. You run out of water and it’s a dry hiking area and you can’t find the damned water spigot that is on the map. You get notified of a bear in the area and have to stay in place while the rangers try and shoo it out of the area, all the while you are losing day light. You stop peeing (officially dehydrated) and you have about 3 hours more to go, straight up. You have zero cell service and your ride is an hour late picking you up. You are exhausted from your hike, but have to hike home (another 9 miles). All of the above have happened to me on hikes. Shit happens. Even with preparedness, mistakes are made, stuff happens. One of the best compliments I have gotten has happened several times. I have been told that I am very calm and confident in bad situations. I agree. Not that my heart is not hammering, and I am not scared, both of those are true, but a level head is best. Knee jerk reactions are usually not helpful. Panic is never helpful. Sometimes you have to make the harder decision. The decision to turn around and hike all the way back up the mountain because the creek is too high. That is a hard one. You don’t want to have to double back. You know this path is the shorter one. You can easily talk yourself into ignoring the red flags (i.e. the creek will definitely be chest high AT LEAST and is flowing very fast) and take the risk. Was I furious that I had to turn back Hell yea. Was I scared that my friend would die. YES. Was I afraid that a tree was about to crush me in my tent. Yep. Was I afraid I would die of dehydration because I wouldn’t find that stupid water spigot. Yep. But keeping a level head and doing what needs to be done is the fastest way to get to safety if you can. Each of these situations challenged my metal toughness and my ability to think clearly and make sound decisions in potentially precarious situations. I have learned that I can adapt and overcome. I can handle myself under stress. I can make sound decisions and get myself in a better situation.

#6: IT’S ALWAYS WORTH IT: These are the musings of a hiker. I don’t know if these things will inspire you to try it. I hope so. Because the biggest lesson learned from hiking is it’s always worth it. I have often had people stop me on a hard climbing trail and ask me “is it worth it?” I always shake my head and laugh and say, “Its always worth it” and hope that one day they get to a place where they learn that lesson. The completion of a hike is ALWAYS worth it. No matter if it had great views, went really well, or was the complete opposite. Mabey the views sucked, I suffered immensely and it just was not an inspiring day. It’s still always worth it. Because at the end, you can always look back and say this “I was amazed that what I needed to survive could be carried on my back. And, most surprising of all, that I could carry it. That I could bear the unbearable.”

Life Lessons From Rucking