It's lonely being healthy sometimes
This topic has come up again and again in my mind as I go into the second year of my health and fitness journey. I traveled to a conference this weekend in New Orleans, and I really did not want to deal with the “vacation/travel 5-10 pound gain.” I have no desire for all the hard work I have done to be chipped away by a few days of overindulgence. I made a deal with myself that I could go out to eat once and also get a beignet at Café Du Monde. Otherwise, I would bring my own food and stick to my eating plan. I did great! I stuck with the plan, had one meal out, had only one non-sugar cocktail at a meal (and that was it for the day), had my beignet (it was delicious!) and felt amazing and actually came back a pound lighter! BUT, as you can imagine, when you are not eating and drinking and drinking and eating, there isn’t much to do on vacation. I was super busy with the conference, but I also didn’t go to restaurants for breakfast lunch and dinners like everyone else. I remember when I had an office job. Each day everyone would leave the office for lunch, and I would be all by myself in the office with my little packed lunch. It's lonely being healthy sometimes! I also stopped at a convenience store on the way home. I had a craving for some beef jerky. As I stood in the crowded and bustling convenience store with people grabbing chips and coda and candy bar. I might as well have been in that store alone. As I read each label, and realized there was nothing I could eat in that store that was on plan (other than nuts and water), I had a really ridiculous feeling that I was in this crazy spinning universe by myself. I am exaggerating of course, but I thought: “Gosh, if my WHY wasn’t so strong, I would have given up on this eating plan a long time ago.” That being left out feeling would be enough to push some people into giving up, or compromising on their plan. “Just this one time, since there really isn’t anything else healthy to eat.” Or, “I want to have fun, I am traveling, I want to enjoy myself and live it up!” And I totally get that. But, pigging out for 4 days and enjoying it immensely, only to have the horrible feeling when I step on the scale when I get home, just isn’t worth it to me. I am not that short-sighted anymore. I used to be. Instant gratification, fun now, consequences later right? So as I drove home with my cooler in my car and ate my brought from home meals and snacks on my 9 hour drive, I felt a little spark of pride. Despite the pressure and the desire for instant gratification, I was able to stay firm, enjoy a couple of treats, but not spend the drive home completely disgusted with myself and dreading what the scale would say about my 4 days of debauchery. So I am ok with the loneliness that sometimes comes with making healthy choices. My WHY is stronger than a little loneliness sometimes.
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